Fasten the Strings
by NephilimEQ
Summary: Why did Hotch tell JJ about Prentiss? Why no one else? Here's why... PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! LOVE MY REVIEWERS!
1. Chapter 1

**Part I**

_**Fasten the strings, help me spread my wings  
>Be the music to the song that my heart sings.<br>Take me and show me the world before my eyes,  
>Reach into my soul and wipe away the tears it cries.<strong>_

The hospital was where it started…where everything began.

For everyone else on their team, everything had ended. Prentiss was dead. As soon as she'd walked into the waiting room, Hotch had caught her eye…and then she had delivered the most devastating news to the team. A lie, to protect them from the truth.

She had grabbed Spencer and had held onto him, glancing towards Hotch over the young man's crying shoulder.

Then Hotch had exited the room.

No one thought it odd that Hotch didn't react; that was simply the way they believed him to be. Closed off. Non-emotive.

She saw him look towards her through the small glass panel in the door, and she knew that they needed a moment alone. Carefully extricating herself from the young genius's grasp, she walked over to the doors and exited the waiting room…

…and entered into a whole new world.

A world where a devastating secret had to be kept, and a world where she was forced to watch her team members' hearts break…all for the sake of one woman's safety.

But Hotch had made a promise to a man; that he would do everything in his power to keep Prentiss safe.

And he was a man of his word.

And, out of everyone, he had put his trust in her. He had given her the privilege of being the one person that was allowed inside of his shell and gave her the chance to let her be the strong one as well, and not just the girl in the background.

The secret had brought them closer than she had ever expected to be to the mostly private man.

On the harder cases, she looked to him more often and he returned her gaze every time, understanding written in his eyes.

She wasn't sure if she would have been able to keep herself together all on her own. That was something that she knew without a fact.

It was strange, though, when she thought about it. Hotch could have not told anyone, he could have kept it a secret all by himself...but he had decided to take her into his confidence, and something inside of her chest swelled a little at that thought.

This was something that was important.

And she had the feeling that, in the end, it would bring them closer together. Cement their trust in the other.

And maybe that's what he'd intended.

Actually, it all made a sort of sense now that she thought about it this way. If he had been the only one who knew, than when they had found out he lied, no one would ever trust him again, alienating him and making him an outcast…but still a leader.

What kind of a position would that be? To be a leader that nobody trusted?

By entrusting JJ with this secret, he ensured that someone would be able to bridge the gap of distrust between him and the team…she was someone that everyone trusted.

She was someone that could keep the team from turning their backs on their leader.

At this revelation, she smiled to herself.

She could live with that.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 1?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part II**

_**Tell me all the things you want to but don't know how to say.  
>The lessons in life are hard to learn,<br>Trust is something you have already earned.  
><strong>_

It was four weeks later, and JJ couldn't take it anymore.

At three in the morning, she stumbled out of her car and up to front porch of Hotch's house. Reid had come by, yet again, and she'd spent the entire time listening to him talk about Emily in the past tense, and the entire time all she could feel was this overwhelming, gnawing pain of guilt eating her from the inside.

Eventually, she didn't know when, but, eventually, he would find out…and how would he look at her then?

She wasn't sure that she could deal with the pain, so she turned to the only person who _could_ understand…Hotch.

JJ was about to start banging on the door, when it occurred to her that his son, Jack, might be home with him.

She gently tapped against the front door and silently prayed that he would be awake…but why would _he_ be awake at three in the morning? He wasn't the one who had to deal with Reid almost every single night, keeping her in a state of constant guilt and torture.

To her shock, it opened, revealing her boss in a gray t-shirt that hugged his upper body and plain blue jeans that looked as though they were well worn.

"JJ? What are you doing here?"

She froze for a moment, and then shrugged her shoulders slightly, a sheepish look appearing on her face. "I needed someone to talk to?"

He simply nodded and opened the door wider, letting her into his small but pleasant home.

She hugged her shoulders as she walked through the door, very much aware of how close Hotch was…and how desperately she felt that she needed a hug at that point. But Hotch wasn't the hugging type, so she withheld the impulse.

JJ walked over to the first chair that she could find and dropped herself into it, looking down at the floor.

She didn't know how to bring the subject up, but she knew that she needed to talk about it. It was eating her up inside.

Hotch could sense her distress and walked over to where she sat in his living room and sat down across from her, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees

He looked at her lowered head and he knew, without even having to ask, that it had something to do with Prentiss's "death". Whatever was going on, it was something that was eating her up inside, and he felt the sudden urge to hug her.

Under normal circumstances he wouldn't…but these weren't normal circumstances.

He slowly moved over to the couch where she was sitting and sat next to her on her right side, carefully sliding his left arm around her shoulders.

She tensed for a brief moment, as though unsure of what he was doing, but a small tug from his hand had her suddenly collapsing into his chest, crying uncontrollably.

Hotch held her as she let out her tears, knowing that she would talk when she needed to and only then.

The secret that they held was hurting both of them, but he had a feeling that something else was making it worse, and whatever it was he was going to get to the bottom of it and do everything he could to fix it. She didn't deserve this pain.

After a few minutes, she slowly pulled back, instead placing her head on his shoulder after he had dropped his arm.

She reached down to where his hand was on the couch and gripped it tightly with her own.

"Do you mind…?"

He could hear the uncertainty in her tone, and he simply shook his head. "No, I don't mind."

He heard her audibly swallow, and then she finally told him what had brought her to his doorstep at that particular time of night.

"Reid isn't…" She paused, then continued. "Reid isn't taking Emily's…Emily's "death" well."

JJ paused yet again, and he had a sudden insight as to what might be happening, but then she pushed forward and explained.

"He's been coming to me almost every night for the past four weeks…telling me how he feels, crying on my shoulder…and the entire time all I can think of is how he's going to hate me when she…_if_ she comes back…"

She let her voice drift, and Hotch let out a deep sigh.

Of course Reid would go to JJ…she was like an older sister to him, a mother, even. He trusted her more than anyone.

Hotch knew that keeping the truth from him must be tearing her up inside as it was, and then for Reid to be coming to her…it made it worse.

He tightened his grip on her hand, gently squeezing her fingers, trying to convey through the small action that he understood what she going through, that he was there for her. That he supported her. He hoped that she got the message.

Her head was a warm weight on his shoulder and it felt…right.

He hadn't been this comfortable with a woman since…actually, he didn't think he'd ever felt so comfortable in his life.

JJ shifted her head and he looked over to see what she was doing…

…and, suddenly, their lips were a breath away from touching.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 2?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part III**

_**Can you Fasten the strings, help me spread my wings?  
>Will it be too painful not knowing what the future will bring?<strong>_

His blood was thundering in his ears and he was certain that she could hear his heartbeat suddenly accelerate in his chest. It accelerated so quickly, that he was surprised that he hadn't already collapsed from the speed of it.

The moment stretched infinitely, the atmosphere fully charged, and he half-expected to see electricity spark between the two of them.

She moved first…leaning in…and he quickly followed.

Their lips touched and he felt tears come to his eyes at how perfect it felt, at how perfectly her lips fit against his.

He turned his body so that they weren't at such an awkward angle, and slid his right hand up along her jawline, angling his lips against hers, trying to find that perfect spot…and there it was. And then they just sank into it, lips sliding against each other, brushing and caressing all at once, nerve endings tingling with sensation.

He moved down slightly and caught her bottom lip between his. He gently tugged and then worried it with his teeth and he heard her groan.

Her lips opened and he couldn't resist.

Quickly, without hesitation, he moved his lips back up and slipped his tongue between her teeth and found the warm wetness of her mouth.

A groan slipped from both of their lips as they got their first taste of each other.

She was heavenly.

He swiped his tongue once more through her mouth and groaned yet again as he felt her own join his. They slipped and slid against one another, reveling in every taste and texture, both of them trying to find what made the other crazy.

Reluctantly, he pulled his lips from hers and instead brushed his lips along her jawline, sliding his hand down to her shoulder, and gently nipped at her ear.

A breathy gasp was her response, and he felt the air brush past his ear as she did so.

He shivered at the delightful sensation that ran down his spine, and then went back to the delectable task of finding out how the rest of her tasted.

Slowly, he slid his lips to just beneath her ear and began to place soft kisses on the skin, alternating between soft, suckling kisses and gentle swipes of his tongue along her carotid artery where he knew she was sensitive.

JJ's hands had moved so that they were grasping his shoulders, while his had now moved to her waist, and he could feel her grip tighten each time he let his tongue linger on her skin.

Smiling to himself, he became more bold and dropped his lips further down, feeling the soft skin of the top of her breast with his lips.

There was a hitch in her voice and then he felt her hands slide to his shoulders and pull him closer in silent encouragement.

At this, he became brazen and let his tongue glide along the edge of her shirt, tracing faint patterns onto her skin, silently wishing that the material wasn't in the way. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to have her bare beneath him, the shirt beneath her _gone_, and the thought alone was enough to have him practically coming his pants.

He held back, but barely. Slowly, he pulled back and gently slid his lips back up her neck and over her cheek, tracing his lips up the side of her face to her forehead.

_Safe_, was the only thought in his mind.

Now was neither the time nor place for something like this to happen.

Both of them were emotionally compromised and he would only consider it after everything was over. After Prentiss came back, and if the feelings were still there, _then_ they would discuss it. He had already let it get too out of hand.

Both of their breathing was labored, as though they had been running uphill, but it slowly abated…

…and then he nearly came undone once more when he felt her lips brush the side of his neck.

He pulled back and her hands moved from his shoulders down his arms and to his hands, where she then gripped them tightly.

"I know," she whispered, leaning her forehead back against his lips. "Too much, too soon."

He nodded faintly, and she slowly pulled back, but kept her grip on his fingers. Their eyes caught each other and she gave him a small, sad smile, and he returned it. Yes…they both wanted, but they needed to wait.

She stood up from the couch, her fingers still not leaving his, and then she gently tugged and he stood up as well.

Suddenly, JJ let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around his waist…and he sighed, letting his own arms wrap around her shoulders.

They stood there for a moment, taking it in, and then, finally, she pulled away completely and they broke contact.

It felt like an invisible tether was now stretched between their chests, attached at the breastbone, having been created through their few moments together. It felt like a physical ache as she walked across the floor and to the front door.

Her hand lingered on the handle for a moment, and then she looked back towards him, a faint smile on her face, but he could see the pain in her eyes.

"Hotch…Aaron," she corrected. "Thank you."

And with that, she walked out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 3?**


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